What are some Statements of Jalopnik Sacrilege (SoJS)?

"traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn" (el-peasant)
03/21/2015 at 15:27 • Filed to: None

Because I have a bad feeling that I fulfill some of them, but certainly not a lot of them.

I mean, I have no interest in this

But I also have no interest in this

So, what should a Jalop never say?

A note: this article should in no way be taken seriously.

PF45 67G1 KL9I GG51 S44B

DISCUSSION (28)

For Sweden > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:31

Paul Thompson did nothing wrong

bob and john > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:32

"I hate cars"

other then that...free reign. EG: I cant stand the manual hatem, the hate for VAG products (really...they are fine) or the fact tht the FiST is essentially god. But I like brown manual wagons, and I'm broke, like 99% of us :D

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:33

The Camry, Corolla, and Prius are all perfectly acceptable commuter cars, especially if you like cars that never die. The Ecoboost Mustang is better than the V6. Lifted trucks aren't bad. Out of the Camaro, Mustang, and Challenger, I would own a Challenger. The LS isn't the second coming.

I agree with all of these.

Sam > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:34

Brown, diesel, manual, Miata, station wagons are stupid.

DCT is superiorto to manual in every way.

I don't want to drive a manual because it is incredibly inconvenient given my extremely long, rush hour commute.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:35

Nothing. I think that's the key.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
03/21/2015 at 15:37

So do I.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:37

I really like the Juke and attempted to buy my car in pink. They're pretty unjalop possibly.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > Sam
03/21/2015 at 15:38

I agree with #3.

*ducks in cover*

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
03/21/2015 at 15:40

As a rule of thumb, the more unique a car is, the more Jalop it is. Exceptions are the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet and Youabian Puma. I think the Juke is Jalop especially the Nismo.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:42

The Nismo RS is the one I really want, I ride past a Nissan dealer daily so I always see them for sale.

Sam > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:42

I like manuals, but will only find them necessary until really good DCTs are affordable for me.

Rainbow > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:46

Is that like an Xbox Live code or something at the bottom?

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > Rainbow
03/21/2015 at 15:47

I don't know but I see it at the bottom of many Jalopnik articles.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:48

I drive an automatic 13 Civic sedan

I don't like the miata all too much

I love the Murano Crosscabriolet and really any convertible in general over the coupe counterpart

I'd rather have luxury than speed

Rainbow > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:50

Huh. First I've noticed it.

And to answer your question, I think the only thing you could say that would make the rest of us hate you would be "Your car is stupid." or anything along those lines. "His/her car is stupid" is totally fine as long as he/she can't hear you, though. :P

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:54

I don't hate you or think you're intellectually inferior just because you drive a boring car.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:56

I can't wait for the manual transmission, natural aspiration, and drivers in general to be phased out. It's nothing more than going from A to B, why make it more complicated?

Also, I hate with a burning passion the: Miata, 787, Skyline, Defender, Deuce 1/2, Kei cars, Lincoln Continental, any wagon, brown, diesel, Singer 911, Subaru SVX, Hilux, Regal GNX, Hellcat, and McLaren F1.

/thatwassarcasmbutkickthisguyoutofjalopnikifreal

PatBateman > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 15:58

I don't get manual transmissions.

I really like those stick-on vent things on the sides of cars these days.

My Prius is perfect.

TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 16:02

As do I. I own a lifted Econoline 4x4 after all.

El Rivinado > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 16:20

Ford isn't making one car that's interesting or beautiful.

New NSX>Ford GT

Cadillac is the company that needs a serious kick in the ass, not Lincoln.

Tesla's are just Prius's for rich douchebags.

I think the Miata is an uncomfortable overrated piece of crap.

Station wagons will always be uglier than their sedan or coupe counterparts.

Brown cars just look like rolling turds.

Manual gearboxes are not the answer and in fact are more of a hindrance in certain cars.

Pontiac died for a reason.

RWD is not the answer to everything.

The big three didn't kill Preston Tucker, he was just too ambitious for his own good.

Well, time to just walk away, load up my rifle, and defend against angry Jalops in brown diesel Miatas.

yamahog > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 16:44

Cars are stupid, and everyone should just have motorcycles: faster, cheaper, better on gas, easier to maintain.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 17:10

Miata, more like Meh-ata.

Volvos older than like 2010 are ugly boxes. Square died in the 90s Volvo.

I'd rather buy a used Cobalt SS/TC or Caliber SRT4 than a Focus or Fiesta ST.

I'd rather have an SUV over a wagon.

Saab is dead, get over it.

Not everything needs an LS swap, no matter how good the LS is.

I prefer automatics to manuals. Own an automatic M3 actually.

I'd own a contemporary Lexus, Cadillac, or Infiniti over anything from the Germans.

Brown cars are fucking hideous.

Diesel isn't the answer to all our problems and doesn't make financial sense in America where it's generally more expensive.

Lincoln doesn't need help.

German car unreliability is over exaggerated.

FCA and GM are making more appealing cars than Ford currently.

There's nothing wrong with driving a beige box for DD duties.

Hybrids are technological marvels and the Pruis and Volt are underappreciated.

I foresee Tesla failing because of Musks cockiness and over promising and under delivering.

Thats all I've got right now.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
03/21/2015 at 17:30

V6 mustangs suck, that's just straight up truth.

I also dislike wagons and SUVs/CUVs

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun
03/21/2015 at 17:38

V6 Mustangs aren't really bad, and SUV's are the shit.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 17:43

The Prius is the pinnacle of handling and performance,

I love electric power becuase I love saving the world,

Going under the speed limit is the way to drive

you should be ashamed if you get speeding tickets

wagons are just half assed SUV's without the offroad prowess.

The CUV is the best of all cars.

I agree with none of these by the way, although i do love SUV's that are proper SUV's with a low range and real 4WD, not the pansy CUV's of today.

whiskeybusiness NOW A DANGER TO CROWDS NEAR YOU > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 18:05

My, how I love the new Porsche Macan and all of its options! I'll make sure to order it with color matching rod bearings.

BorkBorkBjork > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 19:20

"I think the Camry is a "smart" purchase."

Say it, and feel your skin crawl.

Vicente Esteve > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn
03/21/2015 at 22:52

I LOVE THE MURANO CROSS-CABRIOLET